Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ask Aniya! #10

"My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately over the littlest/stupidest things so now I'm scared he wants to break up with me. Is there any way I can end the constant conflicts?" - Crazed (R.S., Freshman)

Being defensive or arguing back is a choice, not a compulsion. If you truly feel like they are pointless matters to be arguing over, then don't let them grow into big ones. If you see that the way you have usually been responding leads to more conflicts, then maybe try responding differently, in a less, potentially aggressive manner. Don't let your ego keep you from apologizing when you know you did something wrong. At the same time, don't let your ego demand apologies from him whenever HE does something wrong. Let it all happen naturally. However, if you see that HE is the reason for the constant fighting and nothing seems to change no matter how hard YOU try to stay calm, then maybe you guys aren't as compatible as you had originally thought.

Ask Aniya! #9

"My girlfriend and I go to different colleges across the United States. We still manage to talk and video chat everyday but all my friends keeps telling us that long distance never works and that we should break up. I really love her but I'm scared my friends might be right. What do I do?" - Stressed to the max (W.N., Junior)

It is your life, not your friends' so they don't know what you're going through. It's easy for them to tell you to break up with her because they are not in position. With that said, you have to realize on your own how strong your love for her is and how much you trust her. If you are happy with how things are going right now and know that once college is over, you guys will be together again (proximity wise), then there is no need to break up. However, even after college is over,  if you guys will still be living far away from each other, then maybe breaking up is necessary because long distance relationships have a history of failing, especially if the relative distance is closer to being permanent than temporary.

Ask Aniya! #8

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for just a few months now, but I feel like I like him more than he likes me because I was the one who originally pursued him. How do I find out of this is true?" - Worried (E.Z., Senior).

If he's still in the relationship with you and seems happy, then don't over think things and stress about who likes who more. Even if you did find out that you like him more than he likes you, how would that change your relationship? Would you break up with him? No. Everyone expresses their feelings in different ways. Just because he doesn't show how much he cares as often as you do does not mean that he cares for you any less. Don't make things more complicated than it needs to be.

Ask Aniya! #7

"My best friend just got a new boyfriend and now it seems like she barely has any time for me anymore. What can I do about it? Do I just move on?" - Over it (S.S., Sophomore)

People often become over-infatuated and over-excited at the beginning of new relationships. If she is a true friend, she will get over this phase in a few weeks or month. However, if it seems to continue, then definitely confront her about it. Make sure to avoid attack-like comments or you'll come off as obsessive, which is a bit creepy. Just say something along the lines of how you miss her since you haven't seen her around in a while and then make plans to hang out soon. If she still says she's busy and is unwilling to make any time for you, then she really needs to get her priorities straight.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Ask Aniya! #6

"My friend wants to date my ex-boyfriend. I am definitely 100% over him but I still just don't want them to date because I can't see him with another girl. Am I over reacting?" - Confused (C.S., Junior)

If you are still uncomfortable seeing him with other people, then you are definitely not 100% over him yet and your somewhat jealous-like feelings would be justified. However, if you genuinely believe that you have no feelings for him left whatsoever, then him dating again should have no effect on you. If they were meant to be, do you really want to stand in the middle of true love? He is no longer "yours to claim". He is going to find love again someday, whether it be your friend or someone else, so if you're "100% over him", prove it. Let him go.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Ask Aniya! #5

“I’ve been  going on multiple dates with this guy for over a month now, and it seems like he really cares about me because he always texts me first everyday and takes me out every weekend. However, we are not together. We are dating, but he’s not officially my boyfriend (yet). Then, I found out he kissed another girl when he was drunk last night. Is that considered cheating? We’re not even ‘together’ though technically so I am unsure whether or not I have a right to be mad.What do I do?” - Scared (J.G., Junior)

You have every right to be mad! It sounds like you guys are practically together so that’s completely unfair for him to be leading you on if he’s not even planning on being faithful. If he really cares about you, he would be proving it to you- not making you doubt the relationship! This guy is a player. He’s one of those dangerous, “charming” types that girls have to beware because they always have hidden agendas. Leave him. He’s not worth it. If he really feels bad about hat he did, let him prove it to you. Let him suffer a little bit as punishment. Do not let him off the hook so easily, otherwise he might take advantage of your niceness in the future. The sea is full of fresh fish. Stop going back to the half eaten ones.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Ask Aniya! #4

"My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and now he wants to get back with me. I was so hurt after it happened, I don't know what I want. What do I do?" - Concerned (J.G., Sophomore)

You are not a puppet who will do whatever he wants you to do. He broke up with you. You accepted it. Now he wants to get back with you. Does that mean you're doing to accept that too? No. If he sees that you are always giving into whatever he wants, then who's to say he won't continue to make rash decisions in the future? The person with the most power in the relationship is the person who cares the least. By going along with everything he's saying, it makes it seem like you're the person in the relationship who cares the most, since you're willing to do whatever he wants to stay on good terms with him. Have some pride.

Ask Aniya! #3

"This past weekend, I hooked up with my best friend and now things are extremely awkward between us. He barely even talks to me anymore and it seems like he thought it was a mistake. What can I do to fix this?" - Worried (A.A., Freshman)

Don't freak out. His reaction is completely normal. He is either a little worried that you won't want to be just friends anymore, that you like him now, or that you think that he likes you now. In all of those cases, your relationship is bound to change. Give each other some space so you can both take some time to calm down and figure out what you both want. When you feel like enough time has passed, try contacting him again and see how things go. Find out if he still just wants to stay friends or if he sees you differently now. In the mean time, don't stress about if he will ever talk to you again or not. If he really thinks of you as a good friend, he will not give you up so easily over a single incident that may or may not have meant anything.

Ask Aniya! #2!

"My boyfriend hasn't had the best of relationships in the past so now I feel like he is taking it out on me. Is there anything I can do?" - Annoyed (B.H., Junior)

This is similar to the thought process that children have with divorced parents - they may believe that love doesn't exist just because their parents broke up. Likewise, it seems like your boyfriend may be having trust issues now because his girlfriends in the past may not have been trustworthy. If you truly love him and want to help him get over this mentality that no girl is trustworthy, you are honestly going to have to sit down and confront him about this situation. Even if he seems hesitant, the fact that you're even willing to have this discussion with him in the first place to clear the air will show him that you really do care about him and your guys' relationship. The rest is up to him and his willingness to understand and let go of his past.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Ask Aniya! #1

"My girlfriend and I broke up last week after having dated for 7 years. I honestly don't know how to handle this change. I am a wreck. How do you suggest I deal with this?" - Depressed (J.F., Junior)

Your partner should be someone who complements you, not completes you. This is so that if break ups do happen, you are still able to stand on your own two feet. I understand break ups are tough, but there is more to life. At the same time, you don’t want to forget your past because that would indicate that you have something worth regretting, making you only feel worse. Like that famous quote goes, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". It all really is a learning experience. Something can always be learned from every situation, even those with the facade of a mistake. There really is no set solution to these things. Take things as they happen and just trust that any “bad” situation can be turned positive depending on how you choose to take it.

The Love Doctor?

So, sometime last week, the world's official "#1 date doctor" came to Santa Clara, and I was able to attend his lecture. He gave everyone all this advice on how love is meant to happen and what it is in general. I found some of his points very interesting so I thought I would share some of the things that resonated with me the most. First of all, he said that people in general should never look for a partner who "completes" them. I know, personally, tht a lot of my girl friends are always talking about how they want a guy to fill in the "missing whole in their hearts" and just someone who makes up for everything that they're not. Rather, the date doctor stressed that finding a partner should not be about how much he/she completes you, but how much he/she complements you. What if one day, your partner decides to leave? Should that leave you incomplete? No. You should be your own complete person without him/her, and thus, should not try to find anyone who "completes" you. The perfect mate will be someone who has many similarities with you and similar interests, so that you guys share a mutual enthusiasm for the same subjects of interests. Of course, he/she are not going to be exactly like you or else things would get boring... but this person will be able to complement your values, morals, ideals, and some hobbies, while still helping you to grow and become a better person. This person should be someone who brings out the best in you; someone who does not make you question whether the feelings and chemistry between you two are real.
Another point this date doctor emphasized was that, when you are trying to decide whether a person is worth pursuing, you have to consider the "A, B, C, D's" of love. A is for attraction. Obviously, you have to be attracted to the person. This person does not have to be the hottest person in the world because no one is perfect, but he/she must intrigue your requirements for physical interest at least a little bit. B is for believability. When you are having a conversation with this person, do his/her words sound genuine? Can you tell that this person actually means what they say without bullshitting you and without just trying to SAY whatever they want to get you to DO whatever they want? C is for chemistry. Do you feel that spark with this person; that instant connection/click that you don't often find with other people when you're with them? Lastly, D is for desirability. You need to want this person. Don't only go for them because you think that he/she likes you so they would be an easy catch. Go for them because YOU want to and because YOUR heart actually feels something for them. Not out of pity, not out of spite for someone else, and not under false pretenses. So, for all of you out there who are still looking for your "one-to-be", I will leave you with this quote: Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face - Anonymous.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Classroom


Through the dirty, classroom window, I secretly stop and peer,
To see students with faces of focus, and also a little bit of fear.
As they try to muster up the information being conveyed by their "professor",
Their diligence proves pretentious in the face of this actual oppressor.

(Photo taken: February 28, 2011)


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sleeping Beauty


As he watches his beloved sleep and originate some dreams,
He holds her hands to comfort her and scare off nightmare's screams.

(Photo taken: March 1, 2011)


Detention


In the category of student cruelties lies the confinements of detention.
A scene where no student wants to be; a place of apprehension.
To escape such punishment throughout high school, one fights his/her rebellious ways
Just so the thoughts of such imprisonment... no one has to raise.

(Photo taken: February 28, 2011)

Light vs. Dark


With half my face in darkness and the other half in light
I'm torn between two worlds unknown right where they reunite.
From mornings of happiness and bliss to nights of preemptive sorrow
I stand in two conflicting points of confusion, unaware of what brings tomorrow.

(Photo taken: February 9, 2011)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

This is My Life

I close my eyes.
I see my mother cooking chicken curry and rice in the kitchen as she sings to classical, Indian songs. She looks so happy and twirls around in her apron every few minutes while she waits for her dishes to finish warming. I walk into the living room and see my two brothers playing video games. Although they are shooting each other incessantly in the game, their expressions of playful aggression show that they are actually friends, despite the age difference and blood relations. The clock strikes 6:35 and I hear the front door unlocking. My dad walks in with his laptop bag and my brothers and I run to him as fast as we can, latching onto his leg. He smiles real big and gives us each  a hug. We all walk into the kitchen where my mom has finished preparing dinner. My brothers and I set the table as my parents finish washing up. Finally, we all reunite at the dinner table, discussing how our days went, what we did, and any issues we have with life in general. We share stories, smile, and laugh. I reflect on how lucky I am to have such a loving family who cares as much about each member as they do for themselves.
After dinner, we all wash the dishes together and clean the table. We head over to the couch to watch a movie together as a family. We spend the first hour of our movie night fighting over which movie to watch. My mother argues for a musical, Indian/Bollywood film, while my brothers fight to watch something more aggressive and of the English language. My dad pretends to be indifferent, while he’s secretly voting for some historic documentary on the life of Gandhi. I shake my head to myself as I see the craziness that is my family. All of us, including my parents, are still children at heart. We finally decide upon watching a Disney movie, Mulan; a definite classic that never gets old. As the songs come on, we all sing along together, having every scene and line memorized, since it has been our chosen movie to watch at least 500 times during our innumerable , weekly movie night sessions. After the movie is over, my parents head to bed, thinking that us kids are doing the same. Instead, my brothers and I all sneak into my room and watch various T.V. shows on YouTube until 3 AM. From “That 70’s Show” to “Wizards of Waverly Place”, we bond over the most random videos. Some nights, instead of watching T.V. shows, we make music videos to the latest songs on the radio. We sing, we laugh, we scream, we dance: this was my life.

I open my eyes. I’m in my own apartment now, about 9,704 miles away from my family in Singapore. I never realized how fast my childhood went by until coming to college. I’m sitting alone in my room with the door closed: I'm homesick more than ever.
Video chatting with my family in Singapore
Hanging with my brothers in Singapore
Summer 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YIELbdiZCc

Hobbies


With the pool stick parallel to my left leg straight
And lined up to the other is my classic guitar,
I surround myself with hobbies so great
To keep me from where those of ennui are.

(Photo taken: February 4, 2011)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Imagination


Left with just my imagination
I begin to create a world so ideal -
A utopia that surpasses all hallucination
Where the peacefulness is so unreal.
Ignoring the cruelties of reality unjust
Of those who kill or rape or steal,
I await the day when in neighbors we can trust-
When each others' emotions we can feel.

(Photo taken: February 4, 2011)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

SCU Campus


My perception of a bustling university campus is proven rash
As I watch the empty sidewalks and the lonely fountain splash.
The skies are grey with clouds that are nowhere to be seen
As if the tables were never used, they look so white and clean.
In less than five more minutes, classes will come to an end
And in only my imagination will this peaceful sight commend.

(Photo taken: January 11, 2011)

The Sun


As the sun hits my face with its overexposure
I try to welcome its warmth and maintain my composure
As I take off my shades to see the strength of the light
Color overtakes my life of its usual black and white.

(Photo taken: February 8, 2011)


Friendship


Same by face
Unique by race
Living together
Through good and bad weather
All for one, and one for all
Together we stand through the longest of hauls.

(Photo taken: January 21, 2011)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Visionary Greenery


Crouching tiger, hidden dragon: I have my share of stealth
Hidden yet observant, I capture visionary wealth
Waiting for a glimpse of life's surprise,
The secret of which lies inside my eyes.

(Photo taken: February 9, 2011)


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Shadow


Staring at something so concrete, yet my mind wishes to wander,
Lost in thoughts of who knows what, and my heart beats increasingly fonder.
Of times and days where moments so true lay within the realms of plain simplicity
Where happiness came from each others' company, not things of electricity.

Lighting
(Photo taken: January 9, 2011)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Highlighter Party Review - From a Sober Perspective

Deny it all you will, but one thing that Santa Clara University is known for is partying. Good parties, bad parties, big parties, small parties, crashed parties, day parties, you name it, Santa Clara has got it. Last week, on Wednesday, October 5, 2011, I attended one of Santa Clara’s “Highlighter” Parties. Basically, everyone comes wearing a white shirt and brings a highlighter, getting signatures and drawings plastered all over their clothes and bodies by the craziest of crowds. Held under a temporary roof, the room was covered with white walls that held black-lights at every corner. These lights definitely served its purpose in making the highlighted “art” works come alive on every white inch of the uncountable shirt, face, and wall. Creative does the theme sound, but the party itself was even more insane.
I decided that a party could only truly be called enjoyable if it was fun even sober. Although I may have been the only sober one there, I thought this fresh new perspective would help me to better observe the nature of such ragers. To my pleasant surprise, the party was intensely engaging... yes, even from a dry perspective.
The hosts of the party were some frat house on campus who were able to divy up enough change to obtain two of the best DJ’s in the area - David Belogolovsky and Sanjoy Deb.  David has been Djing parties at SCU for a while now, maintaining his reputation as a music mixer with the freshest, most up-to-date songs that people can always dance to. His popularity is definitely not overestimated, as proved, once again, by his performance on this cold Wednesday night. Sanjoy was no less of an entertainer. Although his arrival to the SCU party scene is still new, his work has become increasingly well-known over the past 3 weeks. Together, this dynamic duo put on a show that not only ragers enjoyed drunk, but also abstemious from the drinking scene.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Meaning of Life? Sure, Why Not.

A good life lies in optimism and hope. Yeah, we'll get sad or mad, and that's normal, but we shouldn't revolve our lives around things that tie us down. Life is short and imperfect. Finding joy within such imperfection is actually as close to perfect as humanly possible. If we spend it complaining about stupid things we probably won't care about later or regretting past mistakes, then we’re not using our time wisely. If you let little things tick you off, then its just gonna take you more time to move on. "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions". Forgive and forget, be strong and don't regret, and then just move on with your life. Just make the best of every situation. There are no such things as mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, something might SEEM like a mistake, but it's really just God’s way of showing us how we can learn from that situation. We are just being tested to see how mentally-mature we have really grown to be so that we are more able to handle harder situations in the future. Prove yourself to be worthy of passing God’s test.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Smile.

Shaped like a crescent moon
Color of the fallen snow
Inside lips pink and maroon
Before the world they glow.


(Photo Taken: February 27, 2011)

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Love, Metaphorically Speaking.


Love is Waldo,
Hard to find.
Red and white stripes,
Left undefined.
Don't lose it once found,
You cannot rewind,
It is one in a million
That's how love was designed.

(Photo taken: March 1, 2011)




Seeing Through Closed Eyes

I open my eyes to a file-filled desk and books stacked to the ceiling-
I stress at the thought and gasp at the sight; I can feel my eye lids pealing.
As I close my eyes and begin to dream, I see the place where I wish to be:
The land of the lost who don't want to be found, why is this life not for me?

Shutter Speed.
(Photo taken: January 20, 2011)

Anonymous Texts


As the light breaks through my window,
And falls upon my face,
I wake up to the returned sunshine
That awakens me with grace.
To follow, comes my good morning text
From my potential man-to-be
The happiness is shown in my eyes
Why that can't you see?

(Photo taken: February 27, 2011)

Friday, October 7, 2011

Unleashed.

Playing with aperture.
Art captured in the most unusual places: the laundry room of our dorm's basement. Taken January 21, 2011 for my Digital Photography class - playing around with the Aperture. Models include some of of my best friends.
(Taken with one of the Canon Rebel Camera series's)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

My Favorite Quotes

"An eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

‎"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -  Albert Einstein

"You can't choose what cards you are dealt, only how to play the hand." - The Last Lecture

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

"Everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. Good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Every second spent in depression or anger is a second you can't get back. Life is short. Live it right."

"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead.” - Anonymous

‎"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss

Friday, September 30, 2011

Metaphors


1. Indecision is a long, crooked road headed nowhere.

2. The skyline was the dark red that spills from an open wound.

3. Trendsetters are lion heads while followers are the tails that trail behind.

4. The moonlight is a spear that pierces through even a barricaded window.

5. The anonymity of his neighbor is a hidden, ticking time-bomb.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Fairytale (Attempt at Poetry #2)

On the balcony of my fairytale castle,
I’m waiting for my prince charming to arrive.
The wind is rushing through my hair,
Bringing all my senses alive.
I frantically search for his distinct shadow,
As I look into the distance,
I check my watch a thousand times,
Ignorant to my own persistence.
Finally, I hear the horses trot
As they gallop in my direction,
Never have I felt such a giant knot -
But I know this feeling’s perfection.
He sweeps me off my glass-slippered feet,
Looks into my eyes transparent,
And without whispering a single word,
His love is most apparent.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Take A Stand (My Attempt at Poetry)

So here is a poem I wrote over the summer. Well, I am not quite sure yet if it is fit to be called a poem... but I'm curious to see what people think!

Take a Stand.
Aniya Chowdhury

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”,
As Gandhi had once said,
When you’re fighting a world so unkind,
That your heart can’t stand your head.
A side is either right or wrong,
War can stand no compromise,
Neglecting attempts to get along,
Broken bones come to no surprise.
Guns today become bombs tomorrow,
Families break apart and cry,
Loved ones experience fatal sorrow,
Before their own time to die.
Why is everything so black or white
When color is so at hand
Would it not be such a sight
If together we take a stand?

Then there are those who live on the streets;
So thankful for every meal,
While others are raised among elites;
Living in lavishes so unreal.
There is enough food to consume the earth,
Yet poverty makes up majority.
Understanding true human worth,
Has yet to take priority.
With such financial diversity,
That outranges even race,
Education from a university,
Is a privilege out of place.
Why is everything so black or white
When color is so at hand
Would it not be such a sight
If together we take a stand?

Then of all the things that have faced death,
Racism has yet to die,
Why is it that blacks hold their breath,
While whites can touch the sky?
If God created all men the same,
Then skin color can’t be the judge-
None should hang their head in shame,
And none should hold a grudge.
In the words of Jr. MLK,
Let the freedom ring,
Blend all the colors into a ray
That only rain and sun can bring.
Why is everything so black or white
When color is so at hand
Would it not be such a sight
If together we take a stand?

Whether it be freedom from war,
Or the ability to eat till hearts content,
The hopes to dream for evermore,
Or the resources to pay rent-
Whether it be having the heart to share,
Or the compassion to give to charity,
Love’s bravery to dare,
Or seeing with newfound clarity.
Why can we not see the day,
When an enemy can turn friend?
When old debts can be repaid,
When on each other we can depend?
Why is everything so black or white
When color is so at hand
Would it not be such a sight
If together we take a stand?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

First Day as a Blogger

Hello world.
I am currently sitting in the school library, trying to finish my homework for tomorrow. I understand that I'm in college already, but is it really necessary to assign so much work on the first week of school? Already I am drowning in unlimited assignments, papers, projects, quizzes, etc. Wouldn't it make more sense to ease our way into our work so that we are better able to handle forthcoming pressures, organize our schedules, and resist the temptation to drop out of school? Then again, college is just a preview to the "real world", where nothing will come at our leisure. Rather, everything will pile up on us when we least expect it, whether it is a mixture of good things, bad things, or unimportant things. So... I guess I should just suck it up and deal with whatever situation I find myself in. As that famous quote states, "you can't choose what cards you are dealt, only how to play the hand." 
Advice for the day: Be prepared for anything at anytime.
Hello world.
I am ready.