Ask Aniya! #1

"My girlfriend and I broke up last week after having dated for 7 years. I honestly don't know how to handle this change. I am a wreck. How do you suggest I deal with this?" - Depressed (J.F., Junior)

Your partner should be someone who complements you, not completes you. This is so that if break ups do happen, you are still able to stand on your own two feet. I understand break ups are tough, but there is more to life. At the same time, you don’t want to forget your past because that would indicate that you have something worth regretting, making you only feel worse. Like that famous quote goes, "it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all". It all really is a learning experience. Something can always be learned from every situation, even those with the facade of a mistake. There really is no set solution to these things. Take things as they happen and just trust that any “bad” situation can be turned positive depending on how you choose to take it.

The Love Doctor?

So, sometime last week, the world's official "#1 date doctor" came to Santa Clara, and I was able to attend his lecture. He gave everyone all this advice on how love is meant to happen and what it is in general. I found some of his points very interesting so I thought I would share some of the things that resonated with me the most. First of all, he said that people in general should never look for a partner who "completes" them. I know, personally, tht a lot of my girl friends are always talking about how they want a guy to fill in the "missing whole in their hearts" and just someone who makes up for everything that they're not. Rather, the date doctor stressed that finding a partner should not be about how much he/she completes you, but how much he/she complements you. What if one day, your partner decides to leave? Should that leave you incomplete? No. You should be your own complete person without him/her, and thus, should not try to find anyone who "completes" you. The perfect mate will be someone who has many similarities with you and similar interests, so that you guys share a mutual enthusiasm for the same subjects of interests. Of course, he/she are not going to be exactly like you or else things would get boring... but this person will be able to complement your values, morals, ideals, and some hobbies, while still helping you to grow and become a better person. This person should be someone who brings out the best in you; someone who does not make you question whether the feelings and chemistry between you two are real.
Another point this date doctor emphasized was that, when you are trying to decide whether a person is worth pursuing, you have to consider the "A, B, C, D's" of love. A is for attraction. Obviously, you have to be attracted to the person. This person does not have to be the hottest person in the world because no one is perfect, but he/she must intrigue your requirements for physical interest at least a little bit. B is for believability. When you are having a conversation with this person, do his/her words sound genuine? Can you tell that this person actually means what they say without bullshitting you and without just trying to SAY whatever they want to get you to DO whatever they want? C is for chemistry. Do you feel that spark with this person; that instant connection/click that you don't often find with other people when you're with them? Lastly, D is for desirability. You need to want this person. Don't only go for them because you think that he/she likes you so they would be an easy catch. Go for them because YOU want to and because YOUR heart actually feels something for them. Not out of pity, not out of spite for someone else, and not under false pretenses. So, for all of you out there who are still looking for your "one-to-be", I will leave you with this quote: Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face - Anonymous.

The Classroom

Through the dirty, classroom window, I secretly stop and peer,
To see students with faces of focus, and also a little bit of fear.
As they try to muster up the information being conveyed by their "professor",
Their diligence proves pretentious in the face of this actual oppressor.

(Photo taken: February 28, 2011)

Sleeping Beauty

As he watches his beloved sleep and originate some dreams,
He holds her hands to comfort her and scare off nightmare's screams.

(Photo taken: March 1, 2011)

Detention

In the category of student cruelties lies the confinements of detention.
A scene where no student wants to be; a place of apprehension.
To escape such punishment throughout high school, one fights his/her rebellious ways
Just so the thoughts of such imprisonment... no one has to raise.

(Photo taken: February 28, 2011)

Light vs. Dark

With half my face in darkness and the other half in light
I'm torn between two worlds unknown right where they reunite.
From mornings of happiness and bliss to nights of preemptive sorrow
I stand in two conflicting points of confusion, unaware of what brings tomorrow.

(Photo taken: February 9, 2011)

This is My Life

I close my eyes.
I see my mother cooking chicken curry and rice in the kitchen as she sings to classical, Indian songs. She looks so happy and twirls around in her apron every few minutes while she waits for her dishes to finish warming. I walk into the living room and see my two brothers playing video games. Although they are shooting each other incessantly in the game, their expressions of playful aggression show that they are actually friends, despite the age difference and blood relations. The clock strikes 6:35 and I hear the front door unlocking. My dad walks in with his laptop bag and my brothers and I run to him as fast as we can, latching onto his leg. He smiles real big and gives us each  a hug. We all walk into the kitchen where my mom has finished preparing dinner. My brothers and I set the table as my parents finish washing up. Finally, we all reunite at the dinner table, discussing how our days went, what we did, and any issues we have with life in general. We share stories, smile, and laugh. I reflect on how lucky I am to have such a loving family who cares as much about each member as they do for themselves.
After dinner, we all wash the dishes together and clean the table. We head over to the couch to watch a movie together as a family. We spend the first hour of our movie night fighting over which movie to watch. My mother argues for a musical, Indian/Bollywood film, while my brothers fight to watch something more aggressive and of the English language. My dad pretends to be indifferent, while he’s secretly voting for some historic documentary on the life of Gandhi. I shake my head to myself as I see the craziness that is my family. All of us, including my parents, are still children at heart. We finally decide upon watching a Disney movie, Mulan; a definite classic that never gets old. As the songs come on, we all sing along together, having every scene and line memorized, since it has been our chosen movie to watch at least 500 times during our innumerable , weekly movie night sessions. After the movie is over, my parents head to bed, thinking that us kids are doing the same. Instead, my brothers and I all sneak into my room and watch various T.V. shows on YouTube until 3 AM. From “That 70’s Show” to “Wizards of Waverly Place”, we bond over the most random videos. Some nights, instead of watching T.V. shows, we make music videos to the latest songs on the radio. We sing, we laugh, we scream, we dance: this was my life.

I open my eyes. I’m in my own apartment now, about 9,704 miles away from my family in Singapore. I never realized how fast my childhood went by until coming to college. I’m sitting alone in my room with the door closed: I'm homesick more than ever.

Video chatting with my family in Singapore

Hanging with my brothers in Singapore
Summer 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YIELbdiZCc

Hobbies

With the pool stick parallel to my left leg straight
And lined up to the other is my classic guitar,
I surround myself with hobbies so great
To keep me from where those of ennui are.

(Photo taken: February 4, 2011)

Imagination

Left with just my imagination
I begin to create a world so ideal -
A utopia that surpasses all hallucination
Where the peacefulness is so unreal.
Ignoring the cruelties of reality unjust
Of those who kill or rape or steal,
I await the day when in neighbors we can trust-
When each others' emotions we can feel.

(Photo taken: February 4, 2011)

SCU Campus

My perception of a bustling university campus is proven rash
As I watch the empty sidewalks and the lonely fountain splash.
The skies are grey with clouds that are nowhere to be seen
As if the tables were never used, they look so white and clean.
In less than five more minutes, classes will come to an end
And in only my imagination will this peaceful sight commend.

(Photo taken: January 11, 2011)

The Sun

As the sun hits my face with its overexposure
I try to welcome its warmth and maintain my composure
As I take off my shades to see the strength of the light
Color overtakes my life of its usual black and white.

(Photo taken: February 8, 2011)

Friendship

Same by face
Unique by race
Living together
Through good and bad weather
All for one, and one for all
Together we stand through the longest of hauls.

(Photo taken: January 21, 2011)

Visionary Greenery

Crouching tiger, hidden dragon: I have my share of stealth
Hidden yet observant, I capture visionary wealth
Waiting for a glimpse of life's surprise,
The secret of which lies inside my eyes.

(Photo taken: February 9, 2011)

Shadow

Staring at something so concrete, yet my mind wishes to wander,
Lost in thoughts of who knows what, and my heart beats increasingly fonder.
Of times and days where moments so true lay within the realms of plain simplicity
Where happiness came from each others' company, not things of electricity.

Lighting
(Photo taken: January 9, 2011)

Highlighter Party Review - From a Sober Perspective

Deny it all you will, but one thing that Santa Clara University is known for is partying. Good parties, bad parties, big parties, small parties, crashed parties, day parties, you name it, Santa Clara has got it. Last week, on Wednesday, October 5, 2011, I attended one of Santa Clara’s “Highlighter” Parties. Basically, everyone comes wearing a white shirt and brings a highlighter, getting signatures and drawings plastered all over their clothes and bodies by the craziest of crowds. Held under a temporary roof, the room was covered with white walls that held black-lights at every corner. These lights definitely served its purpose in making the highlighted “art” works come alive on every white inch of the uncountable shirt, face, and wall. Creative does the theme sound, but the party itself was even more insane.
I decided that a party could only truly be called enjoyable if it was fun even sober. Although I may have been the only sober one there, I thought this fresh new perspective would help me to better observe the nature of such ragers. To my pleasant surprise, the party was intensely engaging... yes, even from a dry perspective.
The hosts of the party were some frat house on campus who were able to divy up enough change to obtain two of the best DJ’s in the area - David Belogolovsky and Sanjoy Deb.  David has been Djing parties at SCU for a while now, maintaining his reputation as a music mixer with the freshest, most up-to-date songs that people can always dance to. His popularity is definitely not overestimated, as proved, once again, by his performance on this cold Wednesday night. Sanjoy was no less of an entertainer. Although his arrival to the SCU party scene is still new, his work has become increasingly well-known over the past 3 weeks. Together, this dynamic duo put on a show that not only ragers enjoyed drunk, but also abstemious from the drinking scene.

The Meaning of Life? Sure, Why Not.

A good life lies in optimism and hope. Yeah, we'll get sad or mad, and that's normal, but we shouldn't revolve our lives around things that tie us down. Life is short and imperfect. Finding joy within such imperfection is actually as close to perfect as humanly possible. If we spend it complaining about stupid things we probably won't care about later or regretting past mistakes, then we’re not using our time wisely. If you let little things tick you off, then its just gonna take you more time to move on. "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions". Forgive and forget, be strong and don't regret, and then just move on with your life. Just make the best of every situation. There are no such things as mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, something might SEEM like a mistake, but it's really just God’s way of showing us how we can learn from that situation. We are just being tested to see how mentally-mature we have really grown to be so that we are more able to handle harder situations in the future. Prove yourself to be worthy of passing God’s test.

Smile.

Shaped like a crescent moon
Color of the fallen snow
Inside lips pink and maroon
Before the world they glow.


(Photo Taken: February 27, 2011)

Love, Metaphorically Speaking.

Love is Waldo,
Hard to find.
Red and white stripes,
Left undefined.
Don't lose it once found,
You cannot rewind,
It is one in a million
That's how love was designed.

(Photo taken: March 1, 2011)

Seeing Through Closed Eyes

I open my eyes to a file-filled desk and books stacked to the ceiling-
I stress at the thought and gasp at the sight; I can feel my eye lids pealing.
As I close my eyes and begin to dream, I see the place where I wish to be:
The land of the lost who don't want to be found, why is this life not for me?

Shutter Speed.
(Photo taken: January 20, 2011)

Anonymous Texts

As the light breaks through my window,
And falls upon my face,
I wake up to the returned sunshine
That awakens me with grace.
To follow, comes my good morning text
From my potential man-to-be
The happiness is shown in my eyes
Why that can't you see?

(Photo taken: February 27, 2011)

Unleashed.

Playing with aperture.

Art captured in the most unusual places: the laundry room of our dorm's basement. Taken January 21, 2011 for my Digital Photography class - playing around with the Aperture. Models include some of of my best friends.

(Taken with one of the Canon Rebel Camera series's)

My Favorite Quotes

"An eye for an eye just makes the whole world blind." -Gandhi

‎"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -  Albert Einstein

"You can't choose what cards you are dealt, only how to play the hand." - The Last Lecture

"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."

"Everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. Good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Every second spent in depression or anger is a second you can't get back. Life is short. Live it right."

"Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead.” - Anonymous

‎"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss