So, sometime last week, the world's official "#1 date doctor" came to Santa Clara, and I was able to attend his lecture. He gave everyone all this advice on how love is meant to happen and what it is in general. I found some of his points very interesting so I thought I would share some of the things that resonated with me the most. First of all, he said that people in general should never look for a partner who "completes" them. I know, personally, tht a lot of my girl friends are always talking about how they want a guy to fill in the "missing whole in their hearts" and just someone who makes up for everything that they're not. Rather, the date doctor stressed that finding a partner should not be about how much he/she completes you, but how much he/she complements you. What if one day, your partner decides to leave? Should that leave you incomplete? No. You should be your own complete person without him/her, and thus, should not try to find anyone who "completes" you. The perfect mate will be someone who has many similarities with you and similar interests, so that you guys share a mutual enthusiasm for the same subjects of interests. Of course, he/she are not going to be exactly like you or else things would get boring... but this person will be able to complement your values, morals, ideals, and some hobbies, while still helping you to grow and become a better person. This person should be someone who brings out the best in you; someone who does not make you question whether the feelings and chemistry between you two are real.
Another point this date doctor emphasized was that, when you are trying to decide whether a person is worth pursuing, you have to consider the "A, B, C, D's" of love. A is for attraction. Obviously, you have to be attracted to the person. This person does not have to be the hottest person in the world because no one is perfect, but he/she must intrigue your requirements for physical interest at least a little bit. B is for believability. When you are having a conversation with this person, do his/her words sound genuine? Can you tell that this person actually means what they say without bullshitting you and without just trying to SAY whatever they want to get you to DO whatever they want? C is for chemistry. Do you feel that spark with this person; that instant connection/click that you don't often find with other people when you're with them? Lastly, D is for desirability. You need to want this person. Don't only go for them because you think that he/she likes you so they would be an easy catch. Go for them because YOU want to and because YOUR heart actually feels something for them. Not out of pity, not out of spite for someone else, and not under false pretenses. So, for all of you out there who are still looking for your "one-to-be", I will leave you with this quote: Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face - Anonymous.
Another point this date doctor emphasized was that, when you are trying to decide whether a person is worth pursuing, you have to consider the "A, B, C, D's" of love. A is for attraction. Obviously, you have to be attracted to the person. This person does not have to be the hottest person in the world because no one is perfect, but he/she must intrigue your requirements for physical interest at least a little bit. B is for believability. When you are having a conversation with this person, do his/her words sound genuine? Can you tell that this person actually means what they say without bullshitting you and without just trying to SAY whatever they want to get you to DO whatever they want? C is for chemistry. Do you feel that spark with this person; that instant connection/click that you don't often find with other people when you're with them? Lastly, D is for desirability. You need to want this person. Don't only go for them because you think that he/she likes you so they would be an easy catch. Go for them because YOU want to and because YOUR heart actually feels something for them. Not out of pity, not out of spite for someone else, and not under false pretenses. So, for all of you out there who are still looking for your "one-to-be", I will leave you with this quote: Love is like a glass door… sometimes you don’t see it, and it smacks you right in your face - Anonymous.
Cool! I like this post!
ReplyDelete